Why you need to decide on your speaker style and not leave it to chance | Ep 148

“Your speaking style needs to be decided before the audience decides for you.” - Laurie-Ann Murabito

What kind of speaker do you want to be? What do you want your style of speaking to be?

If there’s one thing I know, it’s easier for you to be you than to mimic or copy someone else. Deciding on the type of speaker and what your speaking style will be is critical to your journey to become a captivating speaker.

My days in executive leadership coaching inspired me to adopt this into my work with private clients as a speaking coach. Your speaking style becomes the lens that you'll look at your speech to stay on brand and consistent with your speaking style.

Here's what you'll learn:

• The one question you need to ask that will help you determine your style as a speaker

• Your “style” becomes the lens that you look at your presentation as your write your speech to keep yourself on point and on brand.

• Stepping into and BEing that speaker becomes easy when you teach your subconscious mind who and what to step into.

PLUS, you’ll never go wrong being you and the style of speaker that comes naturally to you.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Learn more about IN Demand Signature Speech TODAY!

• Grab the FREE resource Directory of Places to Speak

• Grab the FREE resource Take the Stage

• Follow me on Instagram: @laurieann.murabito

• For more about me and what I do, check out my website.

• If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs.

Transcript:

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:00:02]:

You're listening to be in demand, the podcast for honest advice, inspiring stories, and ideas for growing your business by leveraging the expert that you are. I'm your host, Loriam Mirabito, business mentor, and I'm also a reformed painfully shy girl, I red wine lover and exercise enthusiast. Join me as I share how being positioned as the expert in your industry, even if it's a busy one, will help you stand out and be the 1 in demand to hire and work with. Well, hello, all my be in demand eyes. And today, we are gonna be talking about your speaking style. Yes. You need to decide what kind of a speaker you're going to be, what your speaking style or, like, how you're gonna make the audience feel or, well, what's the persona that you're gonna come out with? You need to decide all of that beforehand and not let the audience or I Critics decide what kind of a speaker you are. This is something that I worked on and had started working on when I was, Doing executive leadership coaching, and I was working with high level executives.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:01:10]:

I would always ask them because when I was called in, you know, we were typically doing work on the team. So we're doing 3 60 evaluations. And even I before we go over the results of their 3 sixty. You know, I am asking them questions like, what kind of a speaker do you wanna be? And a lot of times, most of my clients didn't know. And the exact same question I started asking my clients when I came into the online world, I would ask them, well, okay. What kind of speaker do you wanna be? And most people had never thought about it. And that's why I wanted to come on and address this now with this episode about deciding on your style. So what I'm gonna share with you today, you literally can use in any area of your life.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:02:01]:

What is your parenting style going to be? What is your coaching style going to be? You know, what's your customer service gonna be like for your clients? What's your leadership I Style going to be if you've got team members, you know, you're leading. Even if it's 1 person, you are leading that 1 person. So what kind of a speaker do you wanna be? So here's why this is so important. And I Before I go there, I'm just gonna, like, continue with the executive leadership story. So one of the things that I found, again, before we dove dove into the results of their 3 60, is they would usually be looking up above them. Meaning, like, if you can imagine, like, an organizational chart, Like, okay. So this person's my boss, so this is 2 persons ahead. If that's their style, that must be what I'm supposed to do in order to get to that position.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:02:57]:

And you're just gonna become a carbon copy of somebody else. I You're just gonna become a copy of somebody else. I just had to say that twice, and there's already 1 person and there's no you if you are copying somebody else. So that's number 1. Like, do not copy someone else, and I want you to decide what your speaking style is going to be. And I usually tell clients to pick, like, 3 words or short phrases I that can best describe you as a speaker. And so the reason why this is so important is because then it becomes the lens I through which you are speaking. It becomes a lens of how you are crafting your presentation.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:03:44]:

So in other words, I If you want to be a humorous speaker and you craft your whole presentation, then you notice there's not one joke I or sarcastic comment, whatever your sense of humor is, there's not 1 joke in here. Well, then then you know you have to go back in, And we have to make it funny. We get to decide how funny it's going to be. So that's why this is so important, you know. So So for me, like, I wanna be inspiring, easygoing, meaning, you're like, I I'm up there on the stage, and I'm one of the audience. Like, I'm no special, like, snowflake. You know, I'm just like them. So I wanna be very easygoing, and I also wanna be approachable.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:04:37]:

So I'm inspiring. I'm easygoing, and I want to be influential. Influential in the sense of I want my audience to think I differently. I want my audience to walk away and have something tangible to actually do And not have to, like, spend weeks trying to, like, get something in order ready to actually, like, implement. I've always wanted my audience actually walk away with a gold nugget that they could use and implement in their lives as soon as they left the meeting or the conference that I was speaking at. So that's the lens that I craft my stories, my presentation. All the different tips I is all looked at through this lens. So what's your speaking style going to be? I mean, if you're watching this or you're listening to this, I mean, press pause and, like, and just think about this for a few minutes.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:05:33]:

Answer the question, what do I Like, what do I want my audience to say about me? And that's not because you're, like, kinda journaling on this Or you're thinking about this in the future. It's I you're not letting the audience decide because you're deciding that right now. I wanna know what do you want to hear from them And does you know, like, just to give you a starting off point, what kind of speaker do you want to be? There are so many different speakers and speaking styles that are out there. But you get to be uniquely you and decide today what that style is going to be. I So I'm just gonna assume that you did press pause. And welcome back here, and I'm super curious to what you did come up with. So I wanna encourage you To shoot me a DM either over on Facebook or Instagram, wherever you're following me. Make sure you're on my email list.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:06:26]:

And let me know, like, I What 3 words or short phrases did you come up with? I love hearing from my audience. And if you've ever reached out to me Or have ever replied to one of my emails, you know that it is me that actually answers and not some team member because I wanna feel connected to my audience. That would be like sending somebody else to do my speaking opportunities, and I'm never going to do that. It's going to be me that shows up. I'm the one that has the meetings with the meeting planners. I'm the one who does my interviews with representatives of the audience that's for another show why I do that. But I'm the one who does that because I'm the one who's crafting and and customizing a presentation I for people. So what's your style going to be? And again, I You know, you get to think about, like, okay.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:07:24]:

So what kind of leader do I wanna be? You know, when I used to share this in this exercise With the executive clients that I was working with, you know, it really made them think for a moment. As soon as I said, like, hate. You can't do what somebody else did that's up above you. You need to show up as a leader that you're going to be. I You need to just be you because that's the best leader that you can be and not a carbon copy of somebody else, Not trying to mimic and model somebody else's leadership style because trust me, it will just it won't feel real. You'll actually have more influence and better corporate engagement if you are just you. So, again, if you're an online business owner, if you are a coach, I A virtual assistant, a service based professional. You know, what do you how do you wanna be known? I What's your work gonna be like? What's the transformation? You know, let's think about These short phrases, like like, your unique style.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:08:31]:

And this is, you know, like, in the world of copy. You know? Like, we come up with certain phrases, You know, in words, I've I've worked myself, with a couple of copywriters, and I've also had the opportunity, you know, to I mean, I'm just obsessed with words and writing because speaking is just verbal copy, but It's amazing what those words can do. Like, when you suddenly it's like, oh, that's my style. So you get to read some social media posts that maybe you wrote when you weren't really in a good mood, and it's like you can see, like, wow. This is not funny. This is not inspiring. This is not laid back. Whatever your words are, you get to look at it.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:09:14]:

And I For myself, being able to look at, you know, my presentations, whether I'm evaluating, like, a video or listening to an audio or even just like watching some of my videos, I see how I've evolved. So whatever words you do pick, know that they may change in 6 months. They may change next year. They may they may stay the same for 5 years. And then one day, you're gonna be like, hey. I need to, like, really, really reevaluate this. What kind of a speaker do I wanna be moving into this part of my life? Or maybe it's a new industry that you're gonna be working in. So you get to decide, like, what is my style gonna be? And I always tell people, like, you want to decide what that is and not let other people decide it for you.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:10:04]:

Don't let them tell you what kind of a speaker you are. You decide what kind of a speaker you're gonna be. You decide what kind of a coach you're gonna be. You decide what kind of a leader you're going to be. And, again, we are just looking at it through this lens. So this is, like, one of the very first things that we do inside both my program in demand signature speech. I And there are some changes that are coming to that program the next time we run it and launch it. And but also with my private clients, like, I want to know, like, what kind of a speaker do you wanna be? The funny thing is is that some of my clients are hilarious.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:10:43]:

I They are naturally funny, and they don't even think that they're that funny. So I usually have to tell them, like, I think you need to add humor to one of the one of those one of your phrases because that's something that seems to come very natural to you, whether it's a sarcastic sense of humor I Or another version of of humor, but that's one of the first things that I like to do with my clients. Because, again, we start looking like it becomes a lens. And I get to call out my clients, like, if they're If I feel like their story, a story that they're trying to tell is being told in, like, a different style than the than it that is them. You know, let's go back to the basics. Let's go back to looking through that lens. Like, how do we change that story so that it is in your style? So this style, you know, think, like, don't overlook it because this is how not just, like, the whole how you're gonna get known, But it just like it's almost like your brand. It becomes very consistent with every speech that you give, with every time that you show up on a podcast, I With every video that you create, with every client that you work with, with every team meeting that you have, You know, here is you being your your style.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:12:03]:

And it's also a great way just to remember, like, Hey. This is me being a speaker. I am being the speaker when I am inspiring I And down to earth. Have a little bit of sarcasm, that New England sarcasm, you know, that people recognize. You know, that's me. That's part of my speaking brand. You know, brand, speaker brand, speaker style, you know, they're kind of the same thing, but I really like call them like it's your speaking style, your coaching style, your leadership style. Decide on that And put a sticky note and remind yourself of your words so that you can easily your all you're doing is you're Training your nervous system, your subconscious mind to actually step into that, and you're going to be that kind of a speaker.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:12:56]:

You're going to be that kind of a leader. So there are all sorts of words that you can be you can be inspiring, serious, hilarious, comical. You know? God, the like, the list goes on. You could be, like, soft and quiet. You know, the best, like, a storyteller that maybe being a storyteller is part of your style. You know, showing people, like, using metaphors or analogies. Maybe that's gonna be part of your style. You know? So you decide what kind I Of a speaker, are you gonna be like, what's your speaking brand? What's your entrepreneur brand? I online brand.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:13:41]:

Your podcasting guest brand. If you have a podcast, what's your podcasting host brand like. What's your style when you're doing your podcast? You know, the the funny thing is is one of the things that I've noticed in having a podcast for Over 2 years, you know, we're rapidly approaching 200 episodes here, and it's just like I My podcasting style and muscle has definitely evolved over the 200 episodes. And I can even say that for being a guest. I I've done been guesting on podcast for a number of years, and I can just see that every time just like when I speak. Every time I'm on somebody else's podcast, I'm a little bit better. Every time I'm on a stage, I get a little bit better. Every time I'm recording my own podcast, I'm getting a little bit better.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:14:35]:

Now I'm at the point where I've just like my team has said, like, hey. We need to get more video over on YouTube, not just the guest episodes. So that's why I'm recording these now on video also. So if you are the sort of person who really does like to listen to podcasts or watch podcasts over on YouTube, just know that you can hop on over to my YouTube channel, which is youtube.comforward/la. So until next time, I will I wanna wish you all a great week. Be in demand because you should always be in demand. And if you are the sort of person that you're like, you know what? I want to step into being that speaker. I want to know and really craft my own speaker style and have a presentation That has the 3 c's to get the 3 r's.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:15:24]:

And those 3 c's are, you want your presentation to be compelling, I Captivating and converting so that you get the 3 r's, which is you want your audience To be raving about you, remembering you, and then referring you to others. That's what you want. So if you are tired of doing the whole social media, like, posting, you know, wheel, like, the picture of hamster wheel, I If you're tired of doing it and you just wanna get in front of audiences that are filled with your ideal clients, then send me a DM or book some time on my calendar. To book a call, it's chat with la.com, and we'll talk about your business. And if I think that you're right to work with me for one of my programs. And I recently just opened up 2 new slots To work with me privately. So if that's something if you're like, I'm not a group program person. I'm not a short, like, temporary type, intensive type person.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:16:33]:

I like to work with a coach like chat with me. Let's have a conversation because you might be perfect for a private 1 on 1 situation, or you might be perfect depending on your situation to do an intensive with me. And I will share more information and details about what both of those actually look and feel like. So till next week, be in demand, and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for hanging out with me. Be sure to hit the subscribe button see you never miss an episode. And join me over in my private Facebook group for more tips, community, and free trainings. You'll find the link in the show notes.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:17:08]:

You can also help this podcast reach more listeners by leaving a review. And as a thank you, each month, I take one of my reviewers to win a free coaching call with me. So if you haven't done so already, please leave a review, and you could be the next