How to Be Successful: Understanding Lasting Transformation

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:00:00]:

Today, I'm going to be having a very real and raw conversation with you, a little peek behind the scenes of my transformation. So let's get on to the show. You're listening to be in demand, the podcast for honest advice, inspiring stories, and ideas for growing your business by leveraging the expert that you are. I'm your host, Lori Amirabito, business mentor, and I'm also a reformed painfully shy girl, red wine lover, and exercise enthusiast. Join me as I share how being positioned as the expert in your industry, even if it's a busy one, will help you stand out and be the one in demand to hire and work with. So this is an episode that I have been wanting to record for a while now. It's been on the list of things that I just wanted to share with you my audience. So here we go.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:00:53]:

Pull up a chair and maybe even jot down a few notes because I hope that by me sharing my story that you'll see yourself in my story. I've been in the self development industry for a very long time now, not just as a coach offering self development, professional development to my clients, but also for myself. You know, one of the first books that I ever got, which just happened to be, and this was when I was in health care, a patient who just randomly said, based on whatever he and I were talking about, he said, you probably would love the book The Magic of Thinking Big. First personal development book I ever got, I still have the original copy that's sitting on my bookshelf because that book changed my life. That was my it just opened up a whole new industry. I never knew that personal development existed. But the truth of the matter is, as much as I've been in the personal development, I've struggled for years. That's the honest truth.

Laurie-Ann Murabito, speaking coach [00:02:00]:

And I can say that I've struggled because I'm looking back now. And, you know, like, hindsight is always 2020. But I also believe I'm a human being, and I'm here to learn my lessons. So I'm constantly learning my lessons. So I'm at a point in my transformation, and I'll talk about this a little bit more, where I'm not knocking myself down anymore. I don't know if you can relate to that if you, like, beat yourself up, but this was something that I did as a habit, literally a habit beating myself up. So I'm no longer beating myself up. So that's why I can look back and say, oh, hey.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:02:40]:

You know, everything that has happened, it's just since I got into this personal development, everything that's happened has happened for me and not to me. So that's another one of my new beliefs. But, again, I'm just, like, on this path, I've decided not to sit on the sidelines, but to keep moving forward. And where I am today, you know, looking back, I just have real clarity. I have, you know, like, I've got, if you will, like, glasses that I can actually see and can see where I got hung up in the past and how I've gotten to where I am here today. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is that I genuinely thought that I could buy transformation. You know? Let me go to the bookstore. Let me go buy another book.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:03:31]:

What's the latest one? Let me listen to this new podcast. You know? Listen to an audio program. Hire coach after coach after coach. I literally thought that I could buy transformation. Years ago, I actually, I had a boyfriend, and I had gone to Barnes and Noble, and I had a new book. And I remember him saying to me so clearly, it's either the book or me. He was like, you know, like, you just buy so many books. And needless to say, he did not make the cut.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:04:04]:

But I was constantly looking for that missing link, the key, the magic key that would just unlock everything. I just wanted somebody to tell me, here's the book that you need to read or the books the list of books that you need to read. You know, like, I would do it. You know? Or was there, like, you know, like, is can I just write a check for this? You know? Believe it or not, like, looking back, this is what I see that my actions were. And I've learned, and it's sort of like a little bit of a running joke in the circle that I'm in, but transformation doesn't come from Amazon Prime. Nope. You cannot Amazon Prime your transformation. It can't be bought.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:04:45]:

You actually have to take action. There's a saying in the Bible. I can't remember where it is off the top of my head, but it's one that I do love. You know, you can ask for what you want, but you also have to basically move your feet. You need to take action. You know, good transformation takes longer than 2 days like Amazon Prime. You know, it took you time to get to where you are. You know, it took me all of these years to get to where I was.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:05:18]:

You know, it's not going to transform overnight. It wasn't gonna transform by reading that one book. Actually, I had to do something about it. If you take weight loss, one of the things that I tell my clients who want to lose weight, this is more back in the days when I was doing more life coaching. But you can't just wake up one day and, like, the £30 that you put on is gonna magically disappear. It took time to put that weight on. It's gonna take time to take that weight off. If it actually was that easy of just saying, hey.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:05:54]:

Let me read the book and boom. I'm, like, down £30. Trust me. Everybody would do this. Everybody would be talking about here's the magic book that you just have to read, and the next day, you'll be down £30 or £40, whatever it is that you want. If you go back to the episode where I talked about, you know, how training for a marathon is very similar to growing a business, I'd you know, and I've done several half marathons, but I didn't just start off running 13.1 miles, like, the first day I went out there, you know, probably because I had, you know, been working out, so I was in some sort of condition, not running condition. I went out and ran, and it started at maybe 2 miles. And then I upped it to 3 miles and then 4 miles so that one day I actually got to 13.1 miles to be able to run that half marathon.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:06:49]:

But the truth is I didn't know what I didn't know, and I needed to know certain information, like, in order to make that real transformation. You know, on the outside, I appeared like this confident, happy, healthy, life is perfect for me, woman. That was literally the image that I gave people. You know, knowing that deep inside, I was still trying to figure it out. I was still looking for that magic key, something that would just change everything whether it was the book, the podcast, the coach. But also what was going on in the inside was I didn't really like the person that I saw in the mirror. I didn't talk to myself nicely. I gave myself a shit sandwich daily thinking that that was actually going to help me do the thing, build the business, you know, build the email list, get out there and do a live, Start my podcast sooner.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:07:49]:

You know? I fed myself a shit sandwich on the daily, which would then lead to numbing behavior at night. And, actually, some of my numbing behavior didn't just happen at night. But my numbing behavior kinda look like busy work, procrastination, food that wasn't healthy for me, certainly food that, like, I was that wasn't good to fuel my body, alcohol, exercise, all of, like when I use the word nummy behavior, it was things to avoid thinking, things to avoid actually reality, like, actually to realize what I was doing, where I was in my life was not a reflection of where I wanted it to be, but my actions kept me stuck, if you will. And I don't know if you can relate to any of this. You know, beating yourself up, like, emotionally, like, in your head. I know a lot of my private clients actually, like, they do talk to themselves negatively, you know, and that's something that we do work on because it's so foundational. And you've probably heard me talk about it in in a couple of episodes ago, but being able to talk to yourself nicely and encourage yourself almost like talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend because believe it or not, you should be your own best friend. So I literally felt like I was on this struggle bus.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:09:19]:

And when I say struggle bus, like, I had this assigned seat. It was actually indented from me sitting there for so long. I just didn't know how to get off the bus. I just thought that one day, like, everything would just magically change, not realizing that what I needed was the right mentor. And last fall, I enrolled in this training by Jim Foran, who is now one of my mentors. And I signed up for this free training that he had that he it's called the be do you have program. And this program is so damn good. And as a matter of fact, I just wanna give you the link so that you can learn more about the be do you have, put the dates on your calendar.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:10:02]:

It is just go to SpeakAndStandOut.com/bedohave, and that link is also down below. This program is so darn good, and I can't believe it's free, actually. But because of this program, I finally understood what be, do, have really, really meant. You know, it's one thing to understand something, but it's another thing to really know it. Like, I understood. Okay. Yeah. Be, do, have.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:10:39]:

I gotta be the person to do the things so that I can have the things that I want in my life. Think about that. You can understand that, but there's a difference between understanding it and really knowing it. And that this training by Jim Fortin, I actually understood and then started to really start to know what he meant by be, do, have. Think about all the different goals that you might have set at the beginning of the year, or maybe you just got tired of setting goals at the beginning of the year, setting resolutions. Whatever your goals are, whatever it is that you want in your life, whether that's a profitable business that actually is making an impact and creating expansion in other people's lives, whether that's you want a better relationship for your children, you want your children to have a better life. Maybe you came from a very poor background. Maybe you just want a better marriage.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:11:38]:

You just want this fulfilling, like, the 2 of you to really connect. And how do you get that marriage or have that relationship with your children or have that profitable business. You know? You have to be that person who is doing those things so that you can have exactly what you want. You can have all of your desires. During that training, I learned so much about myself. I saw myself through a different lens, through different eyes, and really understood, okay, here's what I need to do in order to have, like, some of these things, like, to have the profitable business, to have the great relationship, etcetera. But one of the things that I did notice was, what do you want? Like, what does that have? And that was a little bit of a roadblock for me. And I think the reason why it was a roadblock was because I was afraid to put it out there.

Laurie-Ann Murabito, visibility coach [00:12:36]:

I was afraid to actually say what I wanted even if I would just put it on paper. The what do you want? Oh my. I I was just like, I didn't know because I was so out of touch with my heart, with my soul. And that's when I realized that I had just been going through the motions of change, going through the motions, making it look good. That is all until I took Jim's, be, do, have. And he does have another program that is on the other side of the be, do, have, And I did take that program, and that was it just changed me at a core level. But I wanna encourage you to definitely check out check out and sign up for this free training. It will be unlike any free training you have ever done before.

Laurie-Ann Murabito, speaking coach [00:13:31]:

If you've ever done a challenge, this is completely different, and there are so many people that will be rooting you on and helping you. So, again, that link for to learn more about Jim Fortin's be do have program is at speak and stand out dot com forward slash be do have. You know, your transformation happens from within. My transformation happened from within when I finally went inward instead of looking externally to me. And you'll understand or you'll really begin to know what I mean by that once you go through the be do have program. Again, it's a free training that's open to everybody. Please my gift to you, please go sign up. Give yourself the gift.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:14:24]:

My gift to you is telling you about it, and your gift to yourself is for you to sign up for that as well. Again, that's speak and stand out.comforward/b do have. That information is down below. I hope that you've enjoyed this episode. I would love and I love it when my listeners DM me. We can have a lovely conversation over in DMs, over in Instagram. My Instagram handle is laurianne.mirabito. And, again, that information is down below as well.

Laurie-Ann Murabito [00:14:55]:

Until next week, speak and stand out. Thanks for hanging out with me. Be sure to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode and join me over in my private Facebook group for more tips, community, and free trainings. You'll find the link in the show notes. You can also help this podcast reach more listeners by leaving a review and as a thank you each month, I get one of my reviewers to win a free coaching call with me. So if you haven't done so already, please leave a review and you could be the next one.